the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
