um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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