i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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