And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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