playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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