and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
