All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
