So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
