dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
