I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
