it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
