it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
