Betty ford says i'm here all night
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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