Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
