i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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