i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
