Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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