sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize