How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Say something about gay babies.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?