Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us