I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
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id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.