Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.