My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Are my feet made of real feet?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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