He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
