There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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