I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
How does one acquire holy water?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
