i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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