Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
handjob tips. give me some.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
