Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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