The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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