i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Randomize
