I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
