There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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