i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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