I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
