He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
