I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
