why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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