all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
