OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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