How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
