Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
