You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
