Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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