thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
