May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
