If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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