question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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