Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
