this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
