Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
