Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
