Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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