Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
