she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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