3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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