At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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