"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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