i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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