Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
