hotel room ftw
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just found puke in my bra..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
