Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
