She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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