he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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