there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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