My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
