i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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