My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize