Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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