my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
